The problem is, the setup for the joke is this: What’s whiskey and aspirin? Now the reason I find that so uproariously funny (besides the fact I wrote it) is that in the past couple of months, I’ve been denied healthcare coverage by four different carriers. Oh, you perspicaciously say, I must have:
✓ Spondylosis or tachycardia (or another polysyllabic terror)
✓ A large, suppurating wound that can’t be covered by the Sunday paper
✓ Something growing in my mouth that looks like a lionfish
✓ No functioning internal organs
Surprise—none of those! However, I did have hip surgery for a labral tear close to four months ago. Successful hip surgery, followed by successful physical therapy, signed off as “fine and dandy” by my doc and the PT guy. Why, I could briskly walk up to you right now and put a live salmon in your underwear and you’d never suspect I’d had a hip problem.
No, the problem is getting health care after having a hip problem.
Cobra Bites
The complication is that I did have COBRA health coverage, but it expired about a month after my surgery. Silly me, I’d thought that I could just pick up a new carrier post-surgery, since I’m in basically good health, exercise (with delight) six days a week, and don’t have any peculiar conditions (space between ears notwithstanding) as listed above. Wrong!
So, denied, because of my recent surgery (they are most cautious, these vigilant health carriers) as being too risky. Denied even by what’s called “bridge” insurance carriers, who cover you month-to-month when there’s some problem with standard insurance, or if it’s expired. Denied even when I’d applied for high-deductible insurance—$4,000–$6,000—so the insurance companies wouldn’t have to pay a dime until my arm happened to fall off while signaling for a cab. (Of course, if anything is going to drain your health, it’s filling out the forms online, which run to 12-15 pages. No coffee is strong enough to combat that pain.)
That Bitter Socialist Pill
Of course, that damn socialist Obama wanted to prevent carriers from being able to deny people coverage with pre-existing conditions, but that part of his plan probably won’t see the light of day, since many partiers of tea find it an abomination. After all, we do have to protect the insurance industry at all costs; my God, we wouldn’t want their record profits to be undermined by ill people that need care.
It is interesting to be a freelancer, subject to these kinds of insults, particularly when my pre-existing condition is that I’m fine. Gracious, I feel bad for the people who have real ailments, like diabetes, macular degeneration and the like, who are independent of corporate insurance. That’s a real picnic.
Finished ranting now. For a look at an interesting post on freelancers obtaining insurance, check out this from Peter Bowerman’s site. There is some good stuff in the comments there. For now, I guess I’ll go try a dose of my punchline.
PS
One of my bills from the surgery center came in at around $28,900.00. The insurance carrier countered by offering $245.00. The surgery center then said they had a contractual write-off of $27,500.00. They play amusing games, these healthcare providers. Especially since my “supplies” from the experience were bandaids and hospital socks. Oh, but they were nice socks…
Damn, Tom, your healthcare coverage story makes my blood boil!
Fingers crossed that my partner’s job will continue to provide insurance for us both, because I bet that “blood-boiling” would be considered a deniable, pre-existing condition.
And hey, not that it’s any of my business, but that looks like a surprisingly small bottle of whiskey for a writer. Did you steal it from the cart when the airline attendant wasn’t looking?
Annie, healthcare in this country: priceless. (“Priceless” in priced to kill.)
As for the bottle, that’s just my breakfast whiskey.
Gack!!
We haven’t had health insurance for a few years. I’ve essentially given up on the concept.
Sue had one major surgery while we were insured. End cost to us: zero.
Four years later, she had another major surgery (related to the first) while we were *uninsured.* Net cost to us: zero.
I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m brushing regularly and eating lots of fiber in hopes that I can keep all my current parts for the duration.
Jodi, Gack! indeed.
Joel, that is an interesting take on it. I have grown accustomed to having health care, but have seen over time that some of the security that represents is more in my mind than not. But it would be good if there were affordable health care for independents, one way or another.
Stay healthy!
Ah, Tom, if they only paid more attention to the dental model of health care…
For instance, I had two Cat scans last year, the second one with dye, and that part of the bill (before “adjustments”) was $19,000. We refer to oral surgeons and periodontists who now have 3-D imaging machines (essentially dental CAT scanners) and they typically charge $350. Or less.
Yes, the decimal point is in the right place. We do things differently in the Land of Dentin…
I’ve heard that the problem is really one of limited means and unlimited need. Meaning, our society is aging and many of us have very bad habits which impact our health negatively. Still, you’d think we could figure out how to cut waste (especially in inefficient billing, which is totally the fault of the insurance carriers) and save money by watching for over- and under-treatment. With the power of modern computers, this is within our reach.
Tom, the best way to do it seems to be either joining a larger group of some sort (for instance, the actors guild or similar had open enrollment for writers too, or a local chamber of commerce, Freelancers Union, or a state-subsidized plan (which we have in NY, along with a pre-existing condition rule, and a community rating rule – so you can’t be denied coverage, and they can’t charge you more).
Joel, how did you manage the zero cost without insurance?
Rick, I like the salutary structures in the Land of Dentin; obviously it’s a region of good sense. Indeed part of the problem is an aging populace w/bad habits, but the way the larger healthcare system is set up to be a profit-making enterprise, with insurance carriers beholding to stockholders doesn’t make sense to me.
Wall Street is fine for managing the sales of widgets, but when it comes to ill people, its methods do not translate. “Patients” are not the same as “consumers” in our dollar-extracting techniques applied willy-nilly everywhere.
It’s amazing that this country, with all its resources, is so poorly rated by independent health observers in regards its global standing in health care. There has to be a better way.
Jodi, I’m actually checking out a few of those things, but I haven’t found one that’s affordable yet. I do qualify for the federal HIPAA program, but it’s upwards of $900 a month, and that’s too many candy bars for me.
There isn’t a state-subsidized plan here that I’m aware of, unless I was actually poor, which I’m not (but many of those will be eliminated or reduced in the latest round of budget cuts I’m sure).
I am checking out either being Alice’s (my girlfriend’s) employee, or she being mine, because we can then qualify for some kind of group insurance, though I haven’t investigated the details yet.
I do have lots of aspirin, though…
Ooo, Tom. I sure do empathize.
I often fantasize about emigrating to a country where basic human rights like health care are respected.
Where would you go if you moved away?
Hang in there for Obamacare!
Actually Freya, my girlfriend and I have been scouting to live overseas again for a period (a year?), but not in search of better health care, but in search of adventure—and hoping we were healthy enough to go adventuring!
It does amaze me how we are the richest country in the world, but the World Health Organization rates us WAY below many other countries in terms of overall healthcare. Not a record to be proud of.
Jarvis, thanks. I am hanging in there (checking on some other avenues for coverage, but still thwarted), but I fear that the coverage for pre-existing conditions that’s part of the new healthcare plan (and that won’t be implemented until 2014) will be repealed by those same people who want to protect the insurance industry’s bottom line. Sigh.